So, this entry is something a little bit more serious. This is about women’s health.
To explain, I’m going to share my story with you. So, a few months ago I found a
lump in my breast. I am a worry-wart and I HATE doctors, so I ignored it. I was due to
go to a pap smear and decided while I was there to have my doctor have a look at it.
My appointment was not the breeze I hoped it would be.
First of all during my pap smear, my doctor told me that she could see a little collection of cells on the outside of my cervix. She told me that it could be perfectly normal (although it is not normally
seen in childless women like me), it could be endometriosis, or it could be something more sinister which we wouldn’t know until the results of my test came back in a week.
She then went on to examine my breasts and could feel multiple lumps in both of them. She referred me to have an ultrasound done which I wasn’t too worriedabout. Not really, anyway.
So, my world was a little shaky for a week waiting my for my pap smear test results
to come back. I had to consider that it may be endometriosis in which there was a
chance my fertility would be affected. Not that I really want kids (I have 2 fur-babies
already) but it was a bit of a kick in the guts to think that there was the possibility I
didn’t have a choice. I tortured myself with looking up symptoms on the internet and
found that I had many of those associated with Endometriosis.
I cried a little, I cried for not knowing, I cried for being scared, and I cried for the choice that may not be mine to make.
Before my results were due back in, I had to go for my ultrasound. It was something
I hadn’t really thought much about until I was half naked in a cold, dark room waiting
for the nurse.
My scan was one of the most terrifying experiences I had in my life. The nurse didn’t talk to me, or even make chit-chat. I could see her focussing the ultrasound machine on different areas on both of my breasts, and I could see the dark patches that were obviously not meant to be there. She measured them on the screen, and though most were less than 1cm, on the screen they were the size of my
palm.
I was then told by the nurse that the doctor was very interactive and may come
in to examine me herself. I sat in the cold, dark room, on my own, alone and scared.
The doctor came and lucky for me, she was lovely. She had a look and a feel and
said that there were 2 lumps she wanted to test via biopsy to make sure they weren’t
anything sinister. The things is – I HATE NEEDLES. She said that it should be no
more painful than a blood test, and that if I really wanted a local anaesthetic I could
have one but most patients find that more painful than the test itself.
She said the lumps were a good shape, and they moved around, which was a really
good sign. She said that she needed to be sure but that if she thought it was anything
serious she would do the biopsy right on the spot, which she didn’t want to do. I am
not one to break down in front of strangers but I couldn’t help myself, it had been the
week from hell and my hubby was away for work so I was on my own.
The nurse who I had determined had no soul, actually did have one. She cracked a smile,
handed me some tissues and said that she could understand why I was scared –
the “C” word gets thrown around so much that it rings in your head when anything is
unusual. A bit of female understanding goes a long way.
So, I went back to my doctor armed with my lumpy scanned images. She agreed that
a fine needle biopsy was a good idea just to rule out anything serious, but that the
Big C was rare in someone my age, although not impossible. She did put me out of a
little bit of my misery – my pap smear results were normal so that was one part of my
body I could stop being angry with!!
So, I made my appointment to have my biopsy done for Monday 2nd July. The night
before, I tossed, I turned, and I had horrible dreams. I was so anxious on Monday
morning that I felt physically ill. I got a phone call from the clinic in the morning, and
lo and behold – the ultrasound machine was broken. The clinic was trying to get
a technician in to fix it before my 2:30pm appointment but they couldn’t guarantee
anything. It was so frustrating, I had built myself up, stressed myself out and
exhausted myself about this appointment and then?? Cancelled. Ugh.
Anywho, after some phone calls and to-ing and fro-ing, my appointment has been
rescheduled for Friday. I had to go to a different clinic which is a bit disappointing because I loved the lady-doctor where I got my ultrasounds done. Beggars, however, cannot be choosers.
So, I am disappointed that this ordeal isn’t over, but I am honestly a little bit grateful
to have a few more days to compose myself before the test. I did some reading on
the internet and it doesn’t sound as painful or traumatic as I had imagined it to be. I’m
looking forward to getting my life back on track! By the time I have my follow up with
my doctor for the results, I would have had 5 medical appointments in 3 weeks.
So, things I have learnt from this experience thus far:
♥ NEVER ignore anything suspicious about your body, just get it checked
♥ Ladies – make sure you get regular pap-smear tests (embarrassing – yes,
ignorable – no), every 2 years, no excuses!
♥ Have a feel for lumps and bumps and have them checked, even if you think
you are too young
♥Treasure your body, worship it because it is the first and last you will have.
I have decided to start eating healthier, trying to squeeze some exercise into
my week and start meditating for a better mind, body and spirit.
♥Spare a thought for those people who don’t get the good news they are
hoping for. Freaking out over having to get tests done is one thing, but getting
less than happy news is an entirely new ballgame. There is always someone
who is worse off. I am lucky to have youth and no family history of breast
cancer, others aren’t so fortunate.
Stay tuned, results should be back in next Wednesday so I will update after then.
